I think you'll agree with me when I say:

It takes a great amount of strength to pull yourself out of a dark place.


2017 was a challenging year for me. I was battling with myself, my thoughts, my feelings and my desires. I felt trapped and lost. I was unmotivated to show up for myself and I was very unhappy with the way I was living. The truth is, I was choosing to find the faults in every aspect of my life. I was addicted to my unhappiness and I was beginning to feel comfortable with being dissatisfied. You may be wondering, "What was going on in your life in 2017?"

In 2017, I was working at an unfulfilling job. I loved the people I worked with, but I didn't feel as though the job was pushing me in the direction that I wanted to go. I knew I was capable of so much more so eventually I didn't have joy in showing up for work. After every shift I was irritated that I had to go back the next day. I now understand the concept of trusting the process, but back then, I just felt empty. 

Let me not even get started on school.

I went to university for English and I can confidently say that I enjoyed my major. That being said, the work load was overwhelming. I was given 250 page novels and expected to read and properly understand the content and then write 6-10 page essays on a monthly basis. That would be for one class, and I had 4-5 classes. I was drowning in workload. It's as if the school system was setting me up for failure. Some days I cried because of all the anxiety and stress school was causing. Being able to balance school, work and a social life seemed almost impossible. My grades started to slip and I started to turn to unhealthy foods and unhealthy relationships for comfort. All I wanted to do was watch Netflix with my curtains drawn shut and sleep. I didn't care anymore and I was on the verge of giving up. The more that I sat in my sadness, the more unhappy I became. Little by little I began to overthink and before I knew it, I had some unresolved issues from my past that I had to deal with. I had inner work that needed to be done. 


I called my therapist and I told her that I needed help. I told her I felt lost, confused, unmotivated and unhappy. It's 2021 and the only thing I can remember her saying was "You are strong. You will get through this." 

At the time, I didn't feel strong. I felt the complete opposite, but I was still hopeful. I was willing to put in the work I needed in order to heal. Every week I showed up and had difficult conversations with her and with myself. I soon began to realize that my sadness and pain was more than working at an unfulfilling job. It was more than school. It was my friends. It was my family. It was past relationships. It was events that were taking place in the world. It was my personal goals, dreams and desires. 

I started reading a book that my therapist recommended, "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer. That was the book that jump started my journey towards self discovery. It was the book that left me feeling full of life, energy and vitality.


I am stronger now, more than ever. Through self discipline, hard work and consistency I've been able to show up for myself and I continue to do so everyday. I managed to get my grades up, and in 2019, I graduated. 

I now understand that the world is abundant and I can have and be anything and everything that I want. I've been able to get clear on my personal goals, dreams and desires. I've found motivation to do the things that make me happy. Everyday I choose to take action and set myself up for success. I understand that great things don’t always happen overnight. It takes a lot of faith and hard work to take yourself out of a dark place. Every day is not peaches and roses, but I’ve learned to practice daily gratitude where I constantly remind myself that I am surrounded by blessings and miracles. Being able to feel the light and love of the world is so rewarding. 


To remind others that - it doesn’t rain forever. 

I want my friends, my family and everyone to know that we can be anyone that we want to be; we don't just have to dream of the type of life we want to live. We can actually create it. We just need to get clear on what you want, and what steps we have to take in order to get there. After that, our life will unfold before our eyes. 

Kotch Kreatives is for the strong. The colour black symbolizes our strength and our resilience. The yellow and white serves as a reminder that we are the bright lights during the dark days. 

Yes there is light at the end of the tunnel, but let’s not forget,

we are the light. 

1 comment

  • I am really sorry I never really knew you were going through so much. You never came to me. It is interesting of how you never really know what others are going through and yet we all have similar stories. I know for sure that 2017 was the year I was fighting for my life, my family and I was able to overcome through my faith in Jesus Christ and being able to open up to a trustworthy individual This is the year that I went through deliverance and I do remember praying for you and my daughters.


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